ManCub vs The Boy Scouts of America

It was a tough day for me as we crossed Fontana Dam and entered Great Smoky Mountains National Park. We immediately started climbing an ascent over 3,000 feet.

The miles seemed longer. One mile felt like four. Did we really only walk 0.2 miles from that last gap to this one? No, the guide book must be wrong. Is it too early for lunch? Is there such thing as post lunch?

We pass a shelter and I find the shelter journal. My entry simply reads, "ManCub hungro."

I am struggling this day. The excitement of being in a National Park had me giddy in the morning, but after steep up and downhills, swarms of gnats and flies, unusually warm weather and other hiker frustrations, I was ready for my nightly hibernation.

About twenty minutes before sunset, KitFox and I drag ourselves into camp.

*note*
In the Smokies, you have to stay at the shelters. One is not allowed to tent just anywhere they please. If you're not a thru-hiker, you must make a reservation for a shelter and stay at that shelter. But if the shelter is full, thru-hikers are the exception and may tent close by.
*end note*

I walk up to the shelter to see who we got tonight.

Chief pops his head out and greets us, but something else distracts me from his friendly hellos.

Boy scouts.

A swarm of them. Nibbling on their Chex Mix and Little Debbies. Backpacks and random gear strewn about everywhere.

"Hey guys, y'all already throw your bags down?" I ask.

One of the scout leaders asks the boys if they've all claimed their spaces yet. A boy or two scramble back into the shelter with their sleeping bags.

As this conversation is taking place, more and more hikers continue to stream in. Thru-hikers, section hikers and another group of boy scouts.

Well, I guess we get to tent tonight.

As it turned out, the second group of boy scouts was actually just a father-son group who had actually reserved the shelter. The boy scouts who were there when we arrived did not have reservations. They had reserved the shelter 6 miles south, but because they were "feeling good," they decided to move on up to this shelter.

Hence the severe over crowding.

Whatever, KitFox and I actually prefer tenting anyways, and it's a beautiful evening. We go to sleep with only a few clatters from the shelter and the sound of deer grazing close to our tents.

The next morning we are all up pretty early. The father-son group show a great interest in our thru-hike and end up giving us a bunch of extra food. MORE MAGIC! They were incredibly nice and encouraging to us. They were headed south, though, so we wouldn't see them again.

The boy scouts were headed north.

KitFox and I pass them a couple times on the trail and overhear that they are headed for the same shelter as us.

I sigh to myself but don't really think much of it since there was not too much commotion the previous night.

KitFox and I arrive at the shelter a couple hours before they do. We claim a space and lay out our sleeping bags. Thunder is heard in the distance, and soon it begins to rain.

The thunder grows louder.

A boy scout arrives.

The rain intensifies.

Two more boy scouts and a troupe leader.

Lightening.

Boy scouts.

More rain.

More scouts.

Hail.

Scouts.

Apocalypse!

There are now about 13 scouts and 4 long distance hikers including the two of us. We are all crammed in this shelter as a thunderous hail storm pounds over us.

It's gonna be a long night.

But it's still early. Late afternoon and time for a quick nap before dinner. We are both exhausted and have no problem falling asleep for a quick catnap.

I smell beef jerky.

We wake up and see some boys nibbling on their salty snacks INSIDE the shelter!

*ok, note part two*
Everybody on the AT knows not to eat in the same place you will be sleeping. Reason? BEARS. They can smell your food. They are attracted to it. You eat in your tent or shelter...here come the bears.
*end note part two*

What?!! What are these kids doing? And why aren't the leaders doing anything to stop them? In fact, why is that leader chowing down on some chicken and rice right next to my sleeping bag?! Is this real life?

Remain calm.

You haven't seen any bears yet. They probably don't even really exist. It's been raining a lot... maybe that will drown out the smell. It'll be ok. Why is that kid just staring at me?

It's time to have some dinner. KitFox and I walk out of the shelter and into the crowded eating area (a front porch of sorts) and cook our Ramen. Where we are supposed to. Away from the sleeping area.

We eat, brush our teeth, hang our bear bags in the rain and climb back into our sleeping bags. It's still light out, but we're tired. It's relatively quiet besides the thunder. The boy scouts must be playing the quiet game or something. KitFox and I talk for a bit until it gets dark.

Then they file in.

One after another they fill in the empty bunk spaces. All of us packed like sardines. Headlamps flash to and fro as they search for their belongings.

A troupe leader asks the boys if they've all written in their journals for the day.

Mixed responses.

I'm blinded as a boy struggles to find his notepad and pen.

"There's nothing to write about!"

"I already wrote in mine!"

"What time is it?!"

"There's a giant spider above my head!"

The rest of us try to doze off.

The scouts continue to chatter. Laugh. Squeal. Yelp. What have they been doing the past three hours when it was daylight? Their massively bright headlamps continue to illuminate the entire shelter.

"The spider is getting closer!"

"Hit it with Timmy's shoe!"

"No way!"

I'm beginning to lose it.

"It's gonna crawl in your mouth!"

"My mouth isn't open, so ha!"

"Yes it is because you're talking!"

Again, is this real life? Why aren't the leaders telling them to keep it down? Aren't they boy scouts? Where is their code of conduct? Respect for others?

A scene from Willy Wonka flashes in my mind. How awesome would it be if all of a sudden I started reciting Willy Wonka's crazy speech from this scene:

http://youtu.be/2Zail7Gdqro?t=1m16s

But no, as much as that amused me, I refrained. Surely they would stop soon. They can't be completely ignorant of the other hikers trying to sleep.

"Ahh!! Eeee!! It's crawling towards Tyler!! Hahaheeheeha!!"

That's it.

"WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP TALKING?" came an angry voice from a deep dark corner of the room.

"Yeah," was the prompt reply I received.

"THANK YOU."

Bing. Bang. Boom. The headlamp search beacons went out, and there was an immediate silence.

I smiled and fell asleep.

The power of PLEASE and THANK YOU.

**As a final note on this, the next morning after the scouts woke everyone up, one of the long distance hikers found a clump of rice in his boot.

Boy scouts, y u no be good?

The end.